I've been absent for a couple of weeks, not for lack of things to say, but for lack of taking the time to do it. I felt good last week and was able to get a few things done around the house and graded nursing philosophy papers, but best of all, I went to church Sunday. I completed cycle 3 chemo today, and I am hopeful to have more energy than with the prior cycles. I am scheduled to return to MD Anderson for scans, lab tests, and an appointment with the oncologist April 11-13. I ask you to pray for safe travels, easy flights, and that the chemo has done its job and the tumor has shrunk enough for surgery. I'm believing that it has and planning for surgery the end of May or early June. I'm HOPING ( hope in Christ is not "wishing" it is " believing as if it is done") that the tumor is gone, but I trust that whatever the course of this illness, God will work it for my good. 

I heard a song today that has played in my mind since I heard it. There is a lyric in While I Can by Matthew West that says:

If today was my last day

And it was almost time to go 

I'd pick up that old Bible

And I'd put down my phone

I'd watch the steam rise from my coffee

And the sun rise in the sky

And I'd thank the Lord for one more chance

To try and get it right

I've asked myself the question, "What does it mean to try and get it right?", and I think the best guidance comes from Jesus. He came to free us from the law and to reconcile all who believe in Him to God. Jesus left us with two commandments and He says there are no commandments greater than these:

Mark 12:30 - 31  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.

And, I think that answers my question, to get it right, I have to follow these two commandments, and to do that, I have to pick up the Bible before I pick up the phone. I have been so well loved be so many people but I haven't always been so good at loving myself. I have spent far too much of my life trying to pick apart all that is wrong with me and figure out how to make it better, and that doesn't leave a lot of time to love myself. But, to love my neighbor as myself, I have to love myself well. That sounds a bit ambitious and self-serving until we understand the meaning of the word Love. The Greek translation of the word love is not about warm, fuzzy feelings, it's not about indulging, and it's certainly not about physical gratification. Based on the Greek translation, love is about action; it is to have benevolence toward and  caring about the welfare for ourself, and for our neighbors. So, what does benevolence to our self look like? It certainly includes the basic things like food to eat, clothes to wear, and a comfortable place to lay our heard. Notice I didn't say working long hours just to buy designer clothes or go too far into debt to build bigger and better. so, what does Loving yourself look like? It's likely a little different for everyone, but I think it's doing the things that bring peace to our soul. Perhaps it's taking a walk alone listening to the birds sing, or your favorite music while thanking God for the wonders of His creation. Perhaps it is sitting by the ocean watching and listening to the waves as they caress our toes. Or, it may be something as simple as a Sunday afternoon drive to share an ice cream cone with someone you love. I now treasure those Sunday afternoon drives with my mom when the dementia robbed us of so much, but she never lost her love for an ice cream cone. Those are just a few of my thoughts on how we love ourself with a love that nourishes our soul and brings us true joy. 

So, how do we nourish the soul and bring true joy to our neighbor? We have to first realize that our neighbor may be next door, or they may be halfway around the world. As I think of the story of the good Samaritan, I think Jesus teaches us that our neighbor is anyone that needs our help. It's pretty obvious that helping to meet the basic needs of those in need and those that are overlooked provides the foundation for loving our neighbor as our self. We can easily purchase and donate a few groceries, deliver hygiene products to homeless shelters and jails, but loving our neighbor as our self means we seek to meet not just the physical, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual need of our self, so we can help to meet those needs for our neighbor. I've spent a lot of my life meeting and indulging my basic needs, and as the song says, "I thank the Lord for one more chance to try and get it right." 

So many of you have taught me how much a simple kindness shown to another can nourish and grow the mental, emotional, and spiritual health and strength of another while growing and strengthening those same dimensions in the giver. Simple gestures like an encouraging text message, a special card, a vase of flowers, a handful of buttercups, a cup of coffee, a warm meal, a phone call, a special gift, are but a few examples of how others have nourished my soul over the past few months. There's nothing that makes you feel more loved than an unexpected kindness from a "neighbor", and it's easy to be that "neighbor" to a friend, but I challenge each of us, starting with me, to look for that neighbor that may not be on our "friend list", that neighbor that may be marginalized, the needy, or easily overlooked, and show them an unexpected kindness. Matthew 25:40 teaches us that whatever we do for one of the least of these, we do for Christ. 

I'm not quite sure why I was led to write this tonight, but I know that if it is for no one else, it is for me. I have been so humbled by the kindness of others during this cancer journey, some that I know well,  some that are acquaintances, and some that I don't know, but I know that God wants me to be more aware of those that I encounter that need someone to show them that they are valued, they are loved by the Almighty God that wants to be invited into their life and their problems, and they are loved by me. 

This faith journey with cancer is teaching me so much about myself and others. It is growing my faith and it is teaching me that life is about so much more than getting up and going through the motions of the day while missing the marvelous works of God that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I'm learning to look for Him in His creation that surrounds me, and to see Him in the hearts of His people. I also know that the way I change the world is to show the love of Christ where I am, to the people that I meet, and to look and listen for the opportunities that God brings into my life. I am reminded that God didn't send His son to condemn the world but to save the world through Christ Jesus. I'm thankful that He saved me, and I am so thankful that He has blessed me with all of you wonderful friends!

Take the time to figure out what brings joy to your soul, peace to your mind, a love to your heart, and spend more time doing those things. 

On another note, I read your comments and I thank you for them. I'm trying to figure out a way to reply, but I'm still learning this blog program!

February 22, 2025

It's a cold Saturday morning in Mississippi, but there's something beautiful about every day that we are given, if we just look closely. We can't get the snuggly comfort of a plush blanket and steamy cup of coffee on a hot August morning, so God has beautiful gifts for us all around, we just have to be still and look. I guess you are noticing that 'Be Still' theme that keeps running through my posts, and my dear friend Lora gave me a little decorative "Be Still and Know That I Am God" plaque that I see as soon as I open my eyes each morning, I believe God has given me that scripture for this cancer journey, and there's so much to be learned from that verse, This morning my "be still" pondering is one that has rolled around in my head for a few weeks, and that is the extravagance of God. This phrase was used recently at the funeral of a dear servant of God and one of my Sunday School "girls" challenged our class to think about the meaning of the extravagance of God. I can tell you it should not take a cancer diagnosis to slow us down enough to pause and consider the extravagance of God. The man that I referenced his funeral certainly seemed to understand that an extravagant God is worthy of extravagant worship and praise. I don't think God's definition of extravagant is the wood, hay, and stubble that we often value above peace of mind, health, and relationships. Especially the most important relationship of all, our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Far too often we spend our youth, our health, our time, our energy looking for more -more money, more recognition, more stuff that is next year's trash. I'm not saying that we should just sit back and be lazy, I believe we are meant to work, to learn, to seek, to share, to give, to love, but when we look at God's creation, there is balance. When our perspective turns inward to focus on extravagant for me, we miss the extravagance of God. What diamond can rival the brilliance of a sunrise over the water? What home can compare in splendor to standing on a snow-covered mountain top with nothing but clear blue sky and snowcapped mountains as far as the eye can see? What expensive bottle of champagne can quench your thirst on a hot day like a really cold drink of water straight from the garden hose? What exotic flower can rival the joy in your heart that a handful of weeds pulled straight from the ground by your child or grandchild brings? Money can't buy peace of mind or a good night's sleep. Sitting in the penthouse office with no friends can't bring the pure happiness of sharing a pizza with dear friends that love you for who you are, not the title you hold or the things you have. These my friend are but a few of the extravagant gifts from God. Getting a diagnosis that should shake you to your core but leaves you knowing this is going to be ok because ALL Mighty God tells me to be still and know that He is God, that is the extravagance of God!

Many of you reading this have experienced trouble in your lives, you've survived cancer, you are living with cancer, you are struggling with other illnesses that are just as, or perhaps more debilitating than cancer, you've survived unimaginable loss, or you've watched a loved suffer through difficulties. There are so many, but whatever your struggle, I can tell you the burden doesn't have to be yours to bear. That doesn't mean there's not a portion of it that is ours to carry, grow stronger from, and learn from, but it is never a crushing burden. Scripture, prayer, and the encouragement of Christian friends are three of my strongest burden bearers.

As for the cancer update. I'm feeling well today. I'm stronger, food finally tastes good, and I've got on clothes and makeup! I'm thinking the worst of this first chemo cycle is behind me, so I'm anticipating good days between now and the next cycle of chemo on March 5th.

I'm so grateful for each of you, for your thoughts, your prayers, your kindnesses. Perhaps one of God's greatest extravagances during difficult times is the joy of connecting with friends that I haven't connected with in a while and remembering the way so many of you have influenced and helped to shape my life and my faith.  Thank you for loving and encouraging me.